The Windmill Posts is a travelogue of both road and soul — the story of a man, a car named Rocinante, and a last-hope journey across the United States in search of something like peace.
After years of treatment-resistant depression, repression, and suicidal ideation, I reached a point where I knew something had to change. I didn’t want to run away — I wanted to move, to put my body in motion and see if my mind might follow. What began as a simple idea — drive west until I reached the Pacific — has turned into a cross-country odyssey, shaped by memory, therapy, and the long, slow work of healing.
The car I’m driving is a little MINI convertible named Rocinante, after Don Quixote’s famously underpowered horse — and also the name John Steinbeck gave his camper-truck in Travels with Charley, his own search for understanding in a shifting America. Like Quixote, I feel both foolish and determined — chasing windmills, illusions, truths, or maybe just the faint hope of peace. Like Steinbeck, I’m setting out to see the country, but also to confront myself along the way.
This blog is where I’ll write from the road — not just about where I’m going, but what I’m facing. Some posts may cover the physical route: towns, highways, coastlines. Others will go inward: into memory, emotion, therapy, grief, and whatever else emerges in the silence of long drives and unfamiliar places.
If you’re reading this while walking your own path through depression, uncertainty, or healing: you’re not alone. I don’t have answers, but I’ll share what I find. Maybe something here will feel like a mirror, or at least a little light on the shoulder of the road.
This is the long way home to myself.
These are the windmill posts.
The Windmill Posts 